Uncle Sam and Iran Mullah – Nukes Talk

Sam: I want you to put a zip to your nuclear ambitions. Even civilian ones
Iran: Who the hell are you to dictate me? We have our own but wait, why?
Sam: Because I am supremo. I think you are building nuclear weapons
Iran: I most definitely am not. But what if I am? What are you gonna do about it?
Sam: I’ll beg, plead, bully, cajole, offer economic incentives and impose sanctions
Iran: Be my guest. I dont care. I have oil and gas and Allah
Sam: What good is all that if there no one is going to buy it? BTW, we have God
Iran: My Allah is going to beat the shit out of your God, the spirit and chicken son
Sam: So typical. Who won the Crusades? My God is more powerful
Iran: Yet it is the Zionists who have control of the holy land
Sam: Hmmm… that is interesting. The Jewish God is also on our side
Iran: This is getting a tad religious
Sam: You think? Let us get back to the topic
Iran: OK. You Yanks, French, Brits and Israelis have nukes. Why not poor me?
Sam: Because you are Iran. And I dont like it
Iran: I don’t get it. Please explain. A-B-C as easy as 1-2-3
Sam: Aww crap. This is futile
Iran: No it is not. We are getting somewhere
Sam: We should be bombing the heckuva out of you right now to the stone age
Iran: So, why are yapping about then?
Sam: We would not be having this conversation if you had nukes
Iran: Touche. We would NOT be having this conversation if I had nukes

Sam:(silence) Aha. So, you are building WMDs after all. Gotcha
Iran: Well, I dont know whether I am not piling them
Sam:(confused) You’re telling me you are not hoarding nuclear weapons?
Iran: It wouldn’t be inaccurate to assume that I couldn’t exactly not say
Sam:(bamboozled) So you admit to weaponize your missiles with nuke warheads?
Iran: On the contrary. I’m possibly more or less, not definitely rejecting the idea, that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably do or do not know where they shouldn’t probably be used. If that indeed wasn’t where they shouldn’t be. Even if they are where I knew they are could mean that I wouldn’t completely not know whether the missiles aren’t to be “nukenabled”. Got it? I combined the words ‘nukes’ and ‘enabled’ into a single word. I feel so German right now. Or not…
Sam:(frustrated) This is ridiculous. Stop it. Get outta here. F* you!
Iran: I will, thank you. With pleasure if I may add

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