Star Wars – Zero Sci, Lame Fi, Girl Loser

13 February, 2009 at 03:38 1 comment

The episode of ‘Scrubs’ yesterday (one with Elizabeth Bank’s intro) reminded me of something because the name of some side-character has a wee significance for me given the approaching V-Day. Time to talk about the scam’n’sham that is ‘Star Wars’. Boy! Could I tackle a more touchier fad subject?

    OK. So there was this girl I saw one day at the cafeteria. At that precise moment, she was looking in my general direction and was smiling. Totally random events, I know, but which I thought was something special. So unique in fact that I took the courage to go to her table and say something so stupid that cannot be revealed here for fear of over-exposure. Surprisingly though, it worked and she gave me her number. Ah women, so mysterious. What works? What doesn’t? No one knows.
    Next day I called her and asked her what she was doing over the weekend. Horror of horrors, she is attending a ‘Star Trek’ movie marathon being arranged by the SciFi club. So, I became a member of that club for her sake (one has to pay a few pounds and get uniform) and even had to endure the induction ritual and a general meeting. Oh, the things we do.

    Over the next few days, we were in touch over phone and email. She was really sweet and had a very cute Scottish accent. Anyway, I was looking forward to spend more time with her. I picked her up at her place, we walked to the QMU and then the unexpected happened.
    I watched my first ‘Star Wars’ movie – yes, I was a 27 year old computer scientist but I make no apologies. So, there was the titles going into space of that ‘In a galaxy far far away…’ and then I noticed something strange. In that galaxy far far away, there were humanoids. I just could not take it. I just could not suspend my belief. Here we are watching a movie setup millions of light-years away and the creators have the gal to just put humanoids talking English as the main protagonists?

    Am sorry but I felt it was totally wrong. I still feel the same. Am sure many others feel so too. This is supposed to be “science fiction” for crying out loud. Where is the science? Where is the fiction? It is all just a play going on with dull costumes and plasticky gadgets. George Lucas should be shot on the street for being as uncreative as one can be. Idiot. Stupid. Rascal. Moron. In fact, I felt it was so wrong that I just had to leave the room like I was going to puke. She followed me.
    I told her that I cannot watch that crap and told her the reasons. She was very disappointed. I dont know if it was what I said or the way I said it, but that was that. Maybe, I just made her feel foolish. Or I was being a prick. Maybe it was a myriad combination of factors and weather but the result was that I lost the girl to the scam’n’sham that is ‘Star Wars’.

    Yes, I know that one might point out to the parallel to a ‘How I Met Your Mother’ episode where Ted wonders if he could ever be with a woman who did not like ‘Star Wars’ and had to confirm that Susan (played by Sarah Chalke) who had not really watched the series, watched it and liked it. But hey, this is a very common break-point to many a sci-fi fan. If it is on TV, it should happen a lot I suppose. May the force with you all.

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    Entry filed under: Glasgow-Travails, News-Media.

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