21 February, 2005 at 05:11 Leave a comment

Friendship in UoG

So, was having a nice chat with SG about the wildlife garden and this is how it ended –
SJ: “Nice SG. I will shoot a mail with what we discussed so that we will be on the same bandwidth”
SG: “Sure. But bear in mind that I will not check my mail till tomorrow and even if I read your email, I might not reply to it”
SJ: “?” (as a look)
SG: “I am really busy and tend to keep my work life different from my home life. So sorry if you do not get a reply. I will have read it though”
SJ: “!?!” (in other words, I was speechless and just waved goodbye)
Now that took me to a conversation I had with MF once on a spookingly similar topic of work-life and home-life. She was quite drunk and not a PhD student mind you. This is the conversation as much as I remember –
MF: University life is not that free you see even if we have 5-hours of lectures in a week (giggle). We have plenty of other things to do. Like essays. Library. I do not know about others but I feel it is quite hectic and busy. Especially since I tend to keep my work life different from my home life”
SJ: So what do you do?
MF: A number of things. I visit them. Go out to the union. Watch movies. Do shopping…
SJ: That is spending time with friends, is it? Has it never occured to you that friendship could be a bit more, just a tiny weeny tad more than watching movies, gossip, eating and shopping together? That is what you do in conferences. The point is 20 years down the line, will you remember all these people who you peck and hug. Will you think of them and wonder where they are? But seriously, isn’t friendship about being able to talk to whenever you want and not on appointment? To tell your deepest fears, share your thoughts and sorrows and happiness? The good and the bad times. And to challenge their beliefs and thus challenge yours?
To be able to express yourself of how much you value the friendship? To share. To care.  Is it just watching TV, going to pubs, talk awhile…
MF: (she had that look – a sort of look which says in not so many words that I do not understand the question and do not know the answer and I am not really bothered and a lot more – all in one)

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