Meri Choti si Love Story (Part-1)

22 August, 2004 at 22:41 Leave a comment

A few recent conversations with random people (physical and digital) really took me on a journey to my past when I was truly, madly, deeply in love and of all people, I was lucky enough to have it reciprocated. I do not know what came over me to write this post but I just have to get it out of my system. (I am changing some names here to protect identity). Here is my love story.

Have you ever been in love? I think you will soon be because 2nd year at Uni is magical. I was in my 2nd year of University (same as you are but perhaps younger since we start Uni at 16) when I first fell in love. I guess 2nd year was when most of us got this feeling or atleast confessed since we were just getting to know what it feels like. 17 is a magical time I suppose. Let me recollect whatever I can. We had these stairs to the entrance of our lecture halls and we guys usually sit there joking
around, guessing moods of people parking their cycles and imitating our profs. Boy, those were the days! (nostalgia, nostalgia). ‘She’ was coming to the lecture. I still vividly remember every minor detail of that day. She was wearing a white churidar and her hair was loosely braided. I was trying hard to “sight” because I was conspicious of my friends who knew that I had feelings for her and always giving me sriks-there-she-comes-come-up-chin-up-buddy look. Anyway, she was
holding her head down and holding her books close to her heart as if all her life depended on it. And as all girls do, they were all whispering.
I wonder what girls talk about when they do that. It is a great mystery. There was a lot of romance in the air. Other guys having their hearts set on other girls. All mushy. We were about to get up as the bell rang. You see, I always liked this girl and I wished there was some occassion by which we could say “Hi”. But today, as if the heavens transpired, she tripped/slipped and I immediately reached out to her and she caught my hand for support. Our eyes met perhaps for the first time. Those eyes that could have inspired poetry if I was a poet or a composition if I was a musician or a picture if I was an artist. That moment that Paris should have felt when he laid eyes on Helen or Heer when he met Ranjha. It felt like eternity. I do not know how long we were lost in each others eyes (my friends and her friends gave us different readings).
Being shy, she murmured something and just ran away. While I was mesmerized and still dangling the hand in mid-air. I could hear nothing. I could feel nothing but just the tenderness of her hand. She looked back, gave a glance and a smile. That is etched in my brain for posterity. So was the gentle touch of her hand which I can still feel. I wonder how our brain achieves this kind of thing. Amazing. Anyway, you know, it just felt like “magic” and some voice inside me told me that
this was it. She was the one. She is the angel that must have been put on this earth just for me. I was smitten. It was like everything stopped and it was all very colourful. There was music in my ears. And honey onmy lips.

This is chapter-1. Then the saga continued, there were many interesting episodes, a lot of help from my friends and it was all very nice for a while till I lost her. Those will take up other chapters if I get enough fans urging me to write about it. But let me share some of my profound experiences.
I think people lie when they say that when they lose love, their hearts break. Sorry, correction. It is not that they lie. We really do not know what it feels like. And denial is the most predictable human emotion and so we tend to live in denial and loss for a while. But it truly does not feel like that at all. There is a loss and a void but your heart is always happy that she is better-off and that she made a choice for better or worse. And if you had a choice, you will make sure that she is happy with her choice. I had some anguish but I was not sad at all. Life continues because I always knew that I would find somebody else because love is not a one time or a one person thing. It cannot be. We love our parents, siblings, friends and children. And the other day I was helping F out of a taxi and when I took her hand into mine, I felt that same touch and feeling again. That very same magic. And the world stopped and became all colourful once again. This is the best description I could come up with but then I am not very poetically expressive of my feelings. Even to VN, I hid them under the veil of art but after a cute story (which I will tell you if interested), I finally expressed it. Words have that power of expression that only words can have. In fact, that was the first time we ever seriously talked. Every other time it was just signals. A lot of them and also a lot of signs.

Coming back to 2004, I think I am in love but am more realistic this time around since MF has a BF. As I said, I am not sad that this is the case. Life plays cruel jokes and it is better you laugh at them even if you are the subject of the joke. I think everyone should fall in love twice. The first time they should lose so that they really know its true worth. Second time they should hold on it for dear life, come what may. What do ya guys think of my super philosophy?


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